June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month — a time to shine a light on one of the most heartbreaking diseases that touches so many of our families. Recently, I came across a shared post on social media called “If I Get Dementia…” It was so beautifully written and full of truths that, instead of simply clicking share, I felt compelled to expand on it and offer my own thoughts, drawn from my years working alongside families facing dementia every day.
Dementia changes how someone experiences the world, but it doesn’t erase who they are inside. Small, compassionate actions from loved ones can make an enormous difference. This wish list is not just about care instructions; it’s a reminder to meet your loved one where they are, with grace and love.
Below is the list, along with some of my own notes and encouragement for anyone caring for a loved one living with dementia.
A Wish List for When I Get Dementia
- Every time you enter the room, announce yourself.
“Hi Mom — it’s Michele.
Never ask, “Do you know who I am?” — it causes unnecessary stress. - Pro Tip: Name yourself and your relationship each time you greet your loved one. It grounds them and reduces confusion.
- Embrace my reality.
Don’t correct or argue. Their world is real to them, and trying to pull them into your reality only causes fear or frustration. - If I think my spouse is still alive or believe we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe it.
Join their moment, redirect gently if needed, but don’t insist on painful truths. - Don’t argue about what’s true for you vs. what’s true for me.
Validation is powerful. Say, “Tell me more,” instead of, “That didn’t happen.” - If I don’t know who you are, please don’t take it personally.
Remind yourself: it’s not a measure of love lost — it’s a disease symptom. - If I can’t use utensils, don’t feed me immediately.
Offer finger foods first — it preserves dignity and independence. - If I’m sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen.
Sometimes comfort means being present, not fixing anything. - Don’t treat me like a child. Talk to me like the adult I am.
Use respectful language and tone at all times. - Help me continue to enjoy activities I’ve always loved.
A simple walk, favorite book, or old hobby can spark joy and calm. - Ask me to tell you a story from my past.
Reminiscence therapy is soothing and connects past and present. - If I become agitated, take time to find out what’s wrong.
Many behaviors stem from physical discomfort, fear, or boredom. - Treat me the way you’d want to be treated.
Empathy is your strongest tool as a caregiver. - Keep plenty of snacks available.
Small, easy-to-eat, favorite snacks help avoid hunger frustration. - Don’t talk about me like I’m not there.
Include your loved one in conversations — they can feel your tone and mood. - Don’t feel guilty if you can’t do it all.
You’re only human. Get help. Accept help. It’s love, not failure. - If I live in a care community, visit me often.
Familiar faces make unfamiliar places feel safer. - If I mix up names or places, please be patient.
Breathe. Smile. It’s not intentional. - Play my favorite music.
Music taps into memory like nothing else can. - If I collect or move things around, help me gently put them back.
It may bring comfort and security. - Include me in family gatherings.
Even if I can’t participate like before, being surrounded by love matters. - Hugs and handshakes still mean the world to me.
Human touch calms anxiety and reminds us we’re loved. - Above all — remember I am still the person you know and love.
Dementia changes abilities, not the heart inside.
From My Heart to Yours
This month and always, let’s honor every family touched by Alzheimer’s and dementia. Caregiving is an act of deep, enduring love, and it’s never perfect. Remember: patience, humor, grace, and support will carry you through the hardest days.
You’re Not Alone — Let Us Help
At Queen City Elder Care, we know firsthand that caring for a loved one with dementia takes a village — and not just any village, but one built on experience, compassion, and specialized training. As the owners and operators, we are Certified Dementia Practitioners. Our Director of Client Services is a Certified Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia Care Trainer (CADDCT), and our caregivers are thoroughly trained in Alzheimer’s and dementia care. We use proven, gentle approaches to handle challenging behaviors, communication, and daily care with patience and understanding.
We believe your loved one deserves to live with dignity and purpose in the comfort of home, and you deserve the peace of mind that comes from having a trusted team by your side. From personalized care plans to family education and support, we’re here for you every step of the way.
If you or someone you love needs Alzheimer’s or dementia care in the Greater Cincinnati area, please reach out to us today. Call Queen City Elder Care at (513) 510-4410 or visit https://queencityeldercare.com/alzheimers-dementia-care/ to learn more about how we can help your family.
Together, we can make every day a little brighter. 💜
In honor of all those we know, love, and remember — please comment with a 💜 or share a story, a tip, or advice on loving someone living with Alzheimer’s.
#EndAlzheimers #DementiaSupport #QueenCityElderCare #HomeCareCincinnati
If you or an aging loved one is considering home care in Cincinnati, OH, please contact the caring staff at Queen City Elder Care today at (513) 510-4410
Queen City Elder Care provides Home Care in Cincinnati, Hyde Park, Indian Hill, Madeira, Montgomery, Amberley, Anderson, Loveland, Mason, Wyoming, and surrounding areas.
Michele Vollmer is a visionary leader who is perpetually searching for ways to improve, so to remain at the leading edge of the home care industry.She has served in the healthcare industry since 1989, including pharmaceutical and home health sales, as well as hospice sales and sales management
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